Memorial Day

I'm really not sure when the actual day is celebrated since modern society has turned it into an entire weekend extravaganza.  We usually recognize Memorial Day by putting flowers on the graves of our loved ones.  However, we are strapped for cash this year.  I'm hoping to at least make it up to my Grandmother's grave before the weekend is over.  I think of her, still, nearly every day though anyway.  It's been more than 3 years since her passing, but she lives on in my memories and through me personally.  Not to brag, but I have some of the best qualities that were her.  Sometimes, I think that I would just love one more day with her, or even just one hour.  I know I will get to see her again. 

Anyway, um....... Happy Memorial Day?  Is that what you say?  I'm not sure.... well, enjoy your holiday weekend.  There, hopefully that covers it.

Mom's know everything!

Tonight my mom told me that she has read my blog.  I never could hide anything from her.  Once when I got pulled over by a cop, she knew about it before I ever got home.  When I was a kid she used to tell me that she had eyes in the back of her head.  I would get a mental picture of two eye balls hiding amongst her hair.  It freaked me out! 

The Branches of Infertility

A few times I've seen it mentioned that one couples infertility eventually, in one way or another affects everyone who cares for them.  I believe I've even advised a newby about that before.  But, I'm not sure that I really understood the truth of that until today.  I would never hurt my family for anything in the world, and I find myself in actual physical pain if any of them are hurting.  And yet, today I saw basically all of them hurting and at least part of it was due to infertility.  MY infertiltiy.  This horrible thing that I carry around inside of me everyday was knawing on my family.  And there is nothing that I can do to remove it.  I can't loose it, change it, or make it noncomplicated.  Infertiltiy is like a disease that infects whole families.  I can't tell you the tears that I've spent, and I know that my parents have ached over it too.  Now I understand that my brother and his family have suffered for it also.  My little brother that I just want to protect from everything.  Oh how we have all been affected by this.  You have no idea how much I want to control the situation.  Some how make everything go away.  I want my problem to be my problem only.  I've learned to deal with the pain for myself.  But, I can't.  God made me.  He put me with my parents.  He created my brother and made me his big sister.  He brought his wife to him, way before I had ever given the word "infertility" a second thought.  I'm learning more and more that I have no control over anything.  Doesn't matter what I want.  God set things up exactly as they are.  I wish that He hadn't.  But, He did.  I will never fully understand why God made me this way.  I don't think I have the ability to understand why it has to touch my family.  All I can do is pray for the majority of the pain to be over soon for all of us(in whatever conclusion that maybe), and to pray for strength.  I have no choice but to praise Him in even this too. 

11 weeks old!

Shelby @ 11 weeks old! She is so funny. Last night she found her voice- her barking voice that is. Its a squeeky girly bark. She's been trying it out ever since.

New Puppy

This is Shelby! She's an Aulstrailan Shepard mix. She's around 8 weeks old. We brought her home today. So far, everything is going great!

Another New Nephew

This is "A". My husband's biological brother's baby. You can read about that here.

Me holding him.
He was born yesterday @ 2:22 p.m. Weighing in at 7lbs 3oz & 19 inches long.

Renewal Wedding

This weekend I attended a vow renewal wedding. Dan & Becky are my sister-in-law's parents. I've come to know them as my in-laws too. They love my brother and they are wonderful grandparent's to my niece and nephew.

I didn't make this cake, but I thought it was beautiful. I loved the autumn colors and theme.

Why, you ask, did you post pictures of people that I don't know. Well, because I took the pictures and I was proud of what a great job I did taking them.

My friend's wedding

My friend Laura got married last Friday (9/25).

This is her and her new husband. Aren't they a cute couple?!

I made her wedding cakes. Below is the extra sheet cake.

and this is the wedding cake.


It was kind of a hectic evening, but it all turned out beautiful!

Busy

Sorry I haven't been around all week, if anyone noticed. Its been one busy thing after another, starting with a glorious graduation. Below is a picture of my niece, "C". She graduated high school last Friday night. I was so proud of her. To make a long story short, I love her as my own child. She spent much time at our house as a child and preteen. Now, she is so grown up. My prayer life increases with each... interesting choice she makes.

On Saturday my maternal Grandmother was admitted to the hospital. She has had some serious physical and mental issues for a year now. She's 85. On Monday they moved her to a larger hospital in another city because they believed it was her heart. Yesterday, they did a heart catherization. They found the problem and it seems that she may be alright.
The other thing that has held my attention is my extremely pregnant sister-in-law. She started having heavy labor Friday. She has visited the e.r. twice only to be sent home again because of her lack of progression. She saw her doctor yesterday and he said he really still wanted to wait. The baby is ready to come, but her body isn't ready to birth him. So, if her water doesn't break on its own by next Tuesday June 2nd then she will be induced. I'm hoping that her water will break this Saturday so my Dad can be there for the birth. But, I just want a healthy baby boy and a healthy momma.

The Smallest Blessings-newfamily

My husband was adopted. Recently he reconnected with his biological younger brother. This is a major blessing, but I'll call it a small one so I can stick it here.

His brother Jed, wife, & daughter.

Layered Mocha Cheesecake

picture belongs to Taste of Home

click on the picture for recipe

My husband and I made this together last night. We presented it at Sunday lunch with my family for my sister-in-laws birthday. It was very good. The mocha layer was sort of puddingish, but that may have been due to something we did and not the recipe. It was rich, but not overly so. Also, we left off the glaze on top and used regular graham cracker crumbs. I would recommend it.

kitty

Our newest family member. We finally officially adopted her. We got her fixed and declawed. Interestingly enough my husband decided to name her Little Miss. So, here on my blog I'll just call her Kitty so there will be no confusion. We have a lot to get used to. She's nothing like a dog. She likes to play at night, we can't command her like we do our dogs, and she's moody.

A Friend's blog & more

A friend of mine has a new blogger blog, you can check it out here. She's a pastor's wife and stay at home mother of two girls.
Check out this post by Pearl's Gleanings about female pastors.
Check out Mrs. Bringham's post on grief after a miscarriage.
New Blog Find- Desiring To Be A Godly Woman

Update

pic. from allposters

We received our information packet Saturday. We read through the papers very carefully. Several times they repeated that they encourage open adoption. I'm well read on adoption, so I've known how I felt on this subject for a while. I explained the meaning of open adoption to my husband and he immediately expressed his concern. Neither of us want an open adoption. Theres no way of denying that our child is going to come from another woman. We certainly aren't trying to do that. But, we also can't raise our child with another couple. I much prefer the concept of a semi-open adoption . After explaining this type of adoption, we agreed that was more of what we were looking for. We wouldn't be shutting out the birth parents, but we wouldn't be "family" with them either. A closed adoption doesn't seem realistic. Our child will know that he/she is adopted and will wonder about the birth parents eventually. I want to be able to tell my child that I know something about the birth parents. If the time should come when the child is an adult, that he/she wants to contact the birth parents then we will know how to do so.
So, we have two more options. One is contacting the other local agency and gaining information on their policy. I emailed them today requesting information or an appointment. The other option is Bethany Services in Chicago, however we don't want to have to make that 5-6 hr trip if we don't have to; but on the other hand I already trust Bethany. We'll see what happens. We haven't ruled out the first agency, but we want to explore our options before we even make an appointment with them. Once you start talking to an agency face to face, the bill starts racking up.
In other news:
My husband's biological sister is visiting from Arizona. She rode a bus for two days. What a way to travel. Their biological Grandmother is ill and she wanted to see her one more time before she passes. She is the only person from my husband's biological family that he has contact with. She is staying with us. I've never hosted a real guest before and I was pretty nervous. But, I did my best to make our spare room comfortable. Its kind of strange to have another woman in the house. Plus, I'd only met her twice. So far everything is going good.
My last day of work is Thursday. Can you tell that I'm excited about being free. I've been thinking of all the things I'll be doing and I think I may be even busier. But, its a good busy.

Smelly cat

She really does smell. She orginally belonged to our neighbor lady but she pretty busy so the cat migrated over to our carport. My hubby put out some hay for her when it got really cold. She was one of three kittens, but one got ran over and the other seems to be attached to the neighbors despite their distraction. Slowly but surly she has warmed my hubby's heart. He hasn't completely took her in yet... but there is talk of getting some shots, claws removed, and a much needed bath. We are stumped on a name. I suggested I let my blog friends help out. So... what do you think. What would you name this beauty. Something special about her- one of her back leggs is deformed and she limps. But we aren't partial to any of the "limpy" names. Still, we are open to anything.

My Closet Case

One day I stuck an old blanket in the bottom of our closet. The next morning, as I was coming from the shower I heard my hubby yell, "Mo just came out of the closet!" and he had. Now he sleeps here and find comfort here. When my hubby gets out his new remote control car he hides in his "room". When my tea pot starts wistling he hides. He's such a cutie!

photo from flicker

Aren't they beautiful. I love morning glories. My grandma used to grow them.
My weekend was good. My birthday was nice. My husband took me to my favorite restaurant for lunch and we had friends over for dinner. Sunday we went to Bedford In. for a Ham Radio Festival. My husband recently got his Ham Radio license. I was so proud of him. Besides radio stuff, they had many other odds and ends. I bought some homemade natural honey.
Yesterday I did some cleaning. I've got a list of things I need to do before our Autumn party. I'm spreading the tasks out so that they don't interfere with my everyday work. I washed windows, widow seals, and curtains. Also I dusted walls and ceilings. Those swiffer brooms are good for that task.
Today is the day for my brother & sister-in-law. Starting today, if she goes into labor they are going to allow her to have the baby. Her due date is Nov. 1st, but they've had to stop her labor 2 or 3 times in the last couple of months. There are 23 days between now and her due date. What do you say we make this interesting. Sort of like a pool. No money wagered, but just for fun. What day do you think my sister-in-law will go into labor? Keep in mind that she's having a girl and shes been carrying low every since last Sunday. Leave your guess in comments.

Catching Up

photo from flickr

Now that my "The Desire Of My Heart" series is over, I have a lot of catching up to do. I finally made it all the way through my blogroll today and visited each of my favorite blogs.
I am so looking forward to fall. Today its hot...and its very discouraging. The leaves are falling, but its because its been so dry. The trees aren't turning pretty colors, just a dead brown color. I've put up all my fall decorations, which are few. So, I am urging fall to come. The baking bug is slowly creeping up on me. I stocked up on some baking supplies that were on sale this weekend. Pecans are expensive, even when there on sale.
The baby is almost here. She'll be 36 weeks next week. They've had to stop labor twice, so the next time it starts up they are going to let her deliver. Of course it would be great if she made it to her due date, but at least now everything will be ok. I'm excited!
Hubby and I are planning an Autumn party for friends and family. Hayride, chili, hot chocolate, and games. He loves to have company and I love to plan.
Whats your favorite thing about autumn?

derby and other news

Hubby ran in his first derby for the summer on Saturday. He got 6 place, but he had fun. His next one will probably be in two weeks. It has been so hot.
I finished my first scrapbooking project Saturday. I made one for my neice. She turned 16 last Wednesday and I used her prom pictures from this year. I really enjoyed scrapbooking.

I've been trying to make this lamb, finally, but I can't seem to follow the instructions. I hope I figure it out soon. My sister-in-law is due November 1st. Finally she has begun to gain weight. She's gained 10 lbs. Her docter thinks she may have placenta previa, so she may have to deliver C-section. She goes back in two weeks for another ultrasound to confirm it. Other than that everything is going good.

Tomarrow my mother-in-law is having hip replacement surgery. This is her second one. The first one didn't take. We are going all the way to St. Louis for this one.

As for me, I'm really enjoying being at home so often. I'm baking bread every week, preparing meals ahead, cleaning like crazy, and getting more exercise. As you can tell I'm crafting more too. Also I'm trying to get through Wuthering Heights, but I'm finding it very hard to read. Its been a couple of days since I've picked it up. I may have picked something that is just above my publicly educated mind.

I actually managed to get through my entire blog roll today, visting everyone's blog. I've been missing bloggy fellowship. But, I'm doing my best to keep my chin up.

I won't be back in the office until Thursday and I don't know what kind of time I'll have to blog. So, this may be it for this week.

Father's Day post2

The most important thing to know about my dad is that he is a Christian. All of my life I've seen God's love in him. Being a truck driver, its a lonely exsitance. Hes told us the stories about being stopped for the night at a rest area and being kept up half the night because of the prostitutes banging on his doors asking for a "date". Yet, he never gave into temptation. That takes God sized courage. I remember when he was layed off for two years. I know it was a difficult time for my parents financially. But, I remember he would sit with us at night while we were trying to go to sleep. He would read to us, tell us stories, and pray with us.

For Father's Day I'm giving him a card and making him a Banana Cake.