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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Road to adoption

I've been journaling about our journey through adoption on myspace for more than a year. I made my first post on February 1st 2008. Most people don't know what it takes to adopt a child. They think they do because they've seen such things on t.v., but really they have no clue. I know because I was one of them. Anyway, to give you an idea of the steps you must take (in some situations) to adopt a baby, I'm going to give you a shortened version of what I've done on myspace.
Feb. 1st 2008: We were looking for the right agency for us. We had 3 top runners. We had an appointment to meet with someone from our first choice.
Feb. 15th: We had met with that agency and decided that they were not for us. We just didn't jive with them.
Feb. 21st: I made contact with our second choice and they were unwilling to meet with us. Many agencies want to send you an information packet (which is great) and include the initial application. Application fees can range from $50-$200. We had already decided that we weren't paying anyone anything until we met with them and chose them. So, second choice was out also.
March 29th: I posted about the meeting we had with choice #3. It was a great meeting. We hit it off with our social worker or "adoption specialist" and decided to work with them (Catholic Social Services of Southern Illinois).
April 10th: The first step was filling our miles of paperwork and getting finger printed so we could get our background checks. FBI background checks no less... And we had to get TB tests.
April 18th: We had another meeting to take our marriage assessment test. That was brutal.
Fast-forward to June
June 21st: I talked about the meeting with the marriage therapist that we had to have. We had to be evaluated to make sure we had a happy marriage and one that could sustain adding a child.
June 27-28th: We took our foster classes.
July 24th: We had our homestudy. I turned in the remainder of our paperwork, our "dear birthmom letter", and our photo album.
August 8th: I get the call that everything has finally been approved and that we are officially a waiting couple.
August 16th: I blog about taking the phone into the shower with me. I was really worried that I would miss our call to be parents.
September 28th: I find out that a couple from our foster training class was chosen. This was the first of many couples that have been chosen instead of us. With each "not us" placement we move higher up on the list. However the list is just for cases when the birthmom doesn't want to choose the couple.
Nov. 1st: We get our foster license in the mail.
Nov. 13th: I write about our new decision to network (send our letter and picture to doctors, hospitals, etc.) and that we would be open to a bi-racial child.
Dec. 25th: It twas a not so merry Christmas to me. I'm pitiful.
In January 2009 I start blogging about other things.
Feb. 5: I mention that waiting is getting easier. That its not driving me sooooo crazy anymore.
March 29: Was the last news I got. We are #6 on the list.
August 8, 2009: Waiting for a placement for one year.  I begin going to therapy shortly after.

  • We are now open to an African American baby.
March 2010: Our profile has been chosen by a birthmom.  But, she chooses another couple instead. 
May 2010: We've been waiting 21 months.  We are # 4 on the list.

4 comments:

gin said...

oh, bethanie! my heart aches for you. i know that the journey is long and painful, but it WILL be filled with a joy so sweet you will never remember the waiting with angst. i will be praying for you and your new addition!

Bethanie said...

gin, thanks for the encouragment and prayers.

stephanie garcia said...

Bethanie, Thank you for stopping by with a comment today. I am so sorry that your wait has been so long, yet hopeful that very soon a precious blessing will be in your arms. God bless.

Bethanie said...

It was my pleasure Stephanie. Thank you for your kind words.

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