We go to my mother's house nearly every sunday for lunch. Then we visit-some times all afternoon. Yestarday we decided to stick around for a while. As you know hubby has to be in bed by 7:00 so we eat dinner early. Around 4:00 I went to warm up some leftovers for us. I fixed my hubby's plate first. He didn't ask me to do it, but I figured since I was getting something for my self I might as well get him something to. As I was returning to the kitchen to finish warming up my food, I heard my mother comment to my brother, "Apparently (hubby's name inserted here) thinks his leggs are broken". I heard it and I'm sure she knew it. My first reaction was anger because of her obvious disapproval for what she felt was servitude. However I some how kept my mouth from opening and returned to the other room. The comment was disrespectful to me and my husband, but you know what bothered me the most-the fact that my mother disapproved of me. I hate that. It continued to bother me last night after we got home. The way I've chosen to act as a wife is unpopular to alot of people. I don't much care though what "a lot of people" think. Especailly when I know without a doubt that it is the way God wants me. But, it hurts to have it coming from my own mother. After much fretting and "I should have said" worrying I realized that God's opinion of me matters most. I can't control my mother's mouth, mind, or opinions. Thats not my job. My job is to help my husband and please God and him. All I can do is pray for her to see the light also before my father dies, and for me to continue to look to God for approval. I can only have expectations of God.
Hello world!
4 years ago
7 comments:
Bethanie, it made me sad to read this. You did the right thing. Hopefully your mother will understand someday and learn to control her tongue. That was a hurtful thing to say, although she probably thought she was being witty. I have a problem with trying to be funny at times and saying the wrong thing just to get a laugh. I'm working on that. We're never too old to improve.
Bethanie,
I am sure that God was pleased, first because you were a blessing to your husband, and then because you kept your mouth shut in front of your mom. You are doing the right thing, and the benefits of a happy, stable marriage will far outweigh anyone's opinion.
Rhonda
I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time with family accepting the role you've chosen to play -- the BIBLICAL role God has given to you. Praise God for His faithfulness to us despite what the world around us might think of what we believe. I'm sure your hubby is appreciative even though others might look down upon your important job!
It's natural for criticism to sting from someone close to us. Good for you for being able to get past it!
Andrew
To Love, Honor and Dismay
Bethanie,
Words like that hurt, but especially from those who should love/approve us most.
I am proud to hear that you didn't react with your mom, that is hard to do! It ruins our testimony when we react though, so you really came thru shining! I *hope* I continue to improve with these things as well......
Jenn
Thanks for all your commments!
I know how this hurts too. When I was first married, my mil and sil made a point of badgering their husbands into the kitchen to fix their own plates while I loved knowing exactly how my dh would want his, and hand-delivering it to him. I heard several comments derogatory to "waitressing" and it bothered me, but guess what? My mil almost always fixes my fil his plate these days (13 years later) and I don't hear comments like that ever.
Hope your sweet quiet spirit can withstand, because hopefully, "this too shall pass"...
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