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Monday, August 21, 2006

Ladies & College

There is a lot of discussion about college on Chrystals blog right now. She is against women going to college. I respect her opinion very much. I wanted to give a short run down of my experiance of college and what I think.
My mother went to college and got a degree in sociology. She started encouraging me to focus on college when I started Highschool. She told how my highschool record would determine if I would go to a good college or just a community college. I needed to try my hardest to get good grades. I have a public school diagnosis of a learning disorder so I had to work really hard to get As, Bs, and even Cs. My Jr year I took my ACTs and applyed to several good schools in the area including the one my mother went to. I was under the impression that college was just the next step in life. Then my boyfriend and I decided to get married. We got engaged on my 18th birthday (during my sr. year). I was pretty much aware of the fact that I wasn't going anywhere since he had a great job and wasn't about to start over somewhere else. My mom however was excepting of the engagment as long as I could still go to college. I remember the night so well. The night that I told her we wouldn't be moving to any of the places that I applied to. At that point in my life, I don't remember her ever being so angry with me. She actually left the house in the middle of the night and didn't return for several hours. She didn't speak to me for a couple of days. Because we weren't getting married until November of the next year she was determinded to make me go to the community college at least. I was still under her roof and I went. We were married in the middle of my first semester. I finished that semester and didn't go back after christmas break. College, I quickly learned, wasn't for me. I was impersonal. I couldn't believe the apathy of the teachers. They didn't care if I came to class or graduated or anything. They were unwilling to help me when I was having a hard time, and one in particular was even unwilling to teach. She came to class, wrote her notes on the board, and we read our book. She rarly ever talked. They certainly weren't excepting of my time off for our honeymoon and one told me that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life when I came back. I won't even get into the guys. I took a lot of foolishness from highschool boys, but when a college guy hears your engaged he asumes that you are sleeping with your boyfriend and thinks you'll sleep with him if he is charming enough. Of all the guys I came in contact with, only one related with me as a person instead of a slut, and he was gay. I felt very out of place and uncomfortable in college. I disliked the whole experiance and my hubby hated it even more. Because I was spending so much time there I had sort of a seperate life there, one he didn't understand. Plus, I would tell him of the way the other males treated me and he hated that he couldn't be there to protect me. He became suspecious of me and very jeaolous. As much as I didn't want to go back after christmas, he felt even stronger against it. I wasn't benifiting any knowledge from the experiance and it was only making our new marriage more difficult. When I didn't go back my mother was furious and I felt bad, but I was no longer under her authority. She has had an issue with that every since. Occasionally she still talks to me about going back. I have no desire to do so, even if my hubby would let me. Which he wouldn't.
I strongly believe that God created woman to be a helpmeet. Either to her father or her husband depending on whos authority she is under. If her father or husband requires her to go to college then she should be submissive and go. College is, in my opinion, and dangerous depressing experiance though. So is public school in general but thats another post. If she must go, then she should go with joy but pray that she might be allowed to stop going before she is damaged. She should pray for God's protection, as she can not be protected by her earthy authority in that setting. Over all I think woman should not go to college because it is dangerous, let alone the fact that if she will be living out her purpose as a helpmeet she would not need college to do so. College will not teach a woman to be of a servants heart. It will only teach her that she is more powerful than her authority figure and that she doesn't need him. It will teach her to pursue a bankless career instead of giving her husband babies or taking care of her elderly parents. She will learn that she is her own idol. Her own God.
But, you know what....I'm not your authority. This is just what I see as the truth according to my experiance and the wisdom that my husband shares with me. Go...find your authority. If you don't have a husband or a father...that would be God then. Ask him what he thinks.


Terri said...

Wow, Bethanie! What a testimony! I wish that my oldest daughter could read this. But she is living in the world and won't listen to anything I, or any Christian, has to say. Thank you so much for sharing your college experience.

MInTheGap said...

You had an interesting post there about ladies and college. I have
thought before that I don't know that college is really equipping
women to be the people that God wants them to be-- they're trying to
turn women into men.

I'm becoming more and more persuaded that we have done more harm than good by the way that we've tried to equate the sexes and get women to be like men. We convince them that they have to be men in order to be equal and we've definitely crossed the line. I believe that feminism is directly related to the high rate of divorce and hurt families.

Anonymous said...

Well, I disagree about college, but I do agree with you there about feminism. I have no problem with a woman going to college or even working. None. On the contrary, I believe that an educated woman is in many ways better equipped in the raising of children. One obvious example is the greater ability to help the kids with their homework.

However, I *do* have a problem with the chip on the shoulder that feminists, and those who listen to them, end up with. I'm a young man in college, and I wouldn't marry any woman who smacked of feminism, and that includes these so-called "Women Studies" majors. I won't even *date* one like that; it'd be a waste of time.

Bethanie said...

anonymous-Thanks for your point of view.

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