I was so busy last week with my "job". It was just one thing after another. I spent three whole mornings on one project. The finished products are still laying around my office-letting me know just how much my "authority figure" appreciates my time and effort. Oh how I want to be at home.
Last Tuesday morning I realized with much clarity that I have got my priorities a little mixed up. One of my jobs before we go to bed for the evening is to set the alarm so that we can get up at 2:50 a.m. I've been doing it for over a year now. But, last Monday night I forgot. Around 4:15 a.m. my hubby flipped on our bright over-head light and started yelling my name. As I blinked away the sting of the light, I heard him telling me that the alarm didn't go off. He raced to the bathroom to get a shower, and I wondered out of our cozy bed dazed a confused. I looked at the clock in the kitchen probably 4 times before I realized that my hubby was already 15 minutes late for work. I figured it up and by the time we got him there he would be 45 minutes late altogether. I was beside myself. My husband has worked for the same company for 8 years. Yet, his job is not the kind that you can be late for and not catch a little hasle. As soon as he got out of the shower he called his boss and explained the situation. I was doing everything I could to help. Getting his clothes for him, everything. I quickly dressed myself, for I would have to drive him to work. As we were rushing out the door he said, "Did you set the alarm last night?". I honestly didn't know at that point. During our week one day runs into the next. I remembered setting the alarm, but I wasn't sure if it had been that night or the night before. I was crushed! We sat in silence all the way there. I could tell he was annoyed with what ever had happened. I tried to keep it together and not cry. Just before he got out of the car I asked how much trouble he would be in, and he smiled and said they would just give him a slap on the hand. It made me feel some better, but I knew the little meeting they would call with him would upset him. I had a lot of time to think the rest of the morning. As I retraced my steps from the night before I remembered what I did. I had made a big mess while cooking dinner that evening and had insisted on cleaning ever last dish and spot of counter before coming to bed. When I did lay down I was thinking about what I would have to use to get a spot off the floor. I completely neglected my responsibilty to my husband. My desire for a perfect home was crowding my mind. I wanted to slap myself. When I picked up hubby for work later that day, I confessed and apologized. Luckily for me he had just had a pretty good day at work, besides being late and sitting through the lecture, and he was very forgiving. And for his own fun he has been teasing me about it every evening.
My husband is a great man for letting me off the hook. But the experiance really got to me. His job is very important to him. He sees it as his way to provide for me and it has a lot to do with his worth as a man. He trusts me with the most important part of that process- getting him going. I've been taking advantage of his kidness and not seeing the importance of my resposibility. I see the things that really are important to him, and now I see what I should really be focusing on. Yes, he likes a clean house. But the dishes could've waited until I got him off to work the next morning. A clean house isn't even 3rd or 4th on his list. My list should look like his.