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Thursday, January 25, 2007

Hospice

Yestarday my parents told me that they have decided to involve Hospice in my Grandmother's care. I know what comes to people's minds when they hear that word, "Hospice". Its death.
I want to tell you a little about my Grandma.
My Grandparents were sweathearts. They were farmers. They were married for 10 years before they finally had my Dad. He was their only child, and my Grandma nearly died having him. I don't remember my Grandpa much, he died when I was 5 years old. I know that he was a tall, large man. I know that he liked to play with me and my brother. My mom said that it was like watching a giant play with a kitten. I know that my Grandparents were in love. After he passed away my Grandma lived on her own. She became very independant. She practically raised my brother and I. We went to her house after school (she was only a couple of blocks away), and we stayed with her whenever both parents were out of town (which was often during my tween years). She liked to show us old black and white pictures of her relatives and tell us stories about who they were. I wish I had written it all down, becuase I don't remember anymore. She loved God. She had an old worn bible that she always kept next to her on the couch. She could sing and played the piano for her church. She tried to teach me to play-I never learned. She could sew.
Every since I can remember my Grandma had tremors. She liked to hold my hand sometimes, and my whole arm would shake. In 2003 the parkinsons really started to take its toll on her mind as well as her body. It was kind of like Alhermizers (sp?). She couldn't remember to take her medicine, she couldn't remember to eat, she couldn't remember to shower. One morning, my mom couldn't get her awake. She was sitting on the couch, partly undressed with her coat on and her shoes were laying by the front door. She had been outside, in the night-in that condition. The medics came and finally at the hospital she woke up. She never went home after that day. She has been in several different nursing homes with several different problems. She been up and down-up and down. Now she isn't eating or taking her meds. She can't, nothing will go down. She's lost her ability to swallow and she's starving. On top of that she has an infection in her saliva glands that has probably already gone to her blood.
I have visited her pretty often over the last 4 years. I watched her disapear.
The things that are coming-I just dread them. People with their sympathic looks and words. Staring at her worn out body as the walk past. Its not appropriate, but I want to tell them not to feel bad. We have seen her fall apart little by little-Death isn't a horrible thing. Finally she will be ok again. In Heaven she'll be Grandma again. I can't waite to be with her.

8 comments:

Terri said...

Oh, Bethanie, what a wonderful tribute to your grandmother! It is wonderful to realize that one day we will be with our loved ones for eternity.

MInTheGap said...

My grandfather left last year in quite the same way. Of course, he was states away, so we didn't see him fade. It was after last Christmas that he really started down hill. Started sounding foggy on the phone, then we were told that it was going quicker.

We left to go see him, and were there for his literal last days on this earth. It was good that we could be there, and the weather cooperated while we were.

It's an interesting time-- not easy because it's drawn out, but at the same time you have the ability to say good bye. I feel for you at this time, but I can share your living hope that we will see them again. :)

Bethanie said...

Thanks guys.

Mary said...

I'm sorry, Bethanie. You've been blessed with such a sweet grandma...isn't it a relief to know she's going to love Heaven? I remember at my grandma's funeral (she had a bitter fight with cancer) we were all so relieved and even laughing in our remembrances of her. It would have looked really strange to most of the world.

Happymama said...

I know what you mean, Bethanie. It's hard for others to see YOUR loved one go. When you watch them suffer and know the pain they are going through, there comes a time when you are ready for God to take them home so they can be better again. We experienced that with Bruce's dad when he was dying. We didn't want him to go at first because he wasn't a saved man, but he got things settled about two weeks before he got REALLY bad and when he died, there was such a peace and a sweet spirit in the room that I had never felt before. The presence of God was so near.

I'll pray for your Grandma and your family.

~Kristi

Mrs. C said...

Bethanie, thank you for sharing about your grandmother with us. She sounds like a special lady! I'm glad that you have many fond memories of her.

Mrs.B. said...

What a touching post.....

Bethanie said...

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

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