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Monday, April 02, 2007

Making Fun

This past weekend I some how or another ended up at a ladies conference. Occasionally I agree to things without first thinking them through. But, my husband encouraged me to go saying it would be good for me to get out of the house. In most areas of the evening I had a good time, but there were several others that bothered me or were challenging. The challenging bits were sercumstaces in which I would have liked to have had my husband with me. For instance, the woman that I rode with lost her wallet. She nearly fell apart. In the end all we had to do was retrace our steps.
Anyway, the main person that most of the 7,000 women had come to see was a female comedian. Don't get me wrong, mostly she was funny. But her, I guess "sketch" would be the right word here, started out by telling things on her husband. In other words she was making fun of him. She told of his snoring, his overgrowth of body hair(which I didn't need/want to hear about), etc. All around me there were women cheering this on, nodding in knowing agreement. I was terrible embarrased for her husband. All I could do was put my head down and attempt to push out all the bashing from my ears.
Women start doing this. They do it with other women. Then those women think its fun and start doing it too. Its disgraceful! Would you want your husband to tell all his friends your flaws? How about you find out your husband told his friend that you pick your nose, or that you belched kind of loud the other day. No, you wouldn't like it at all.
Ladies...we are supposed to respect our husbands. That includes refraining from "telling stories" on your husband. If you are guilty of this (I'll admit I have been in the past)-Well Stop It! Replace those jeering rantings with uplifting news of your man. Tell your friends how much your husband loves you and how he shows it. I know that some men aren't exactly worthy of their wive's praise, but it is required non-the-less. Even the nastiest man has something good that you could say about him.


MInTheGap said...

I think you're right on here, Bethany. The Bible clearly states that we are to lift others up-- and that goes double for inside the marriage relationship!

devildogwife said...

I completely agree. We are to honor and uphold our husband, not to bring him down.

Kelli said...

Bethanie, I'm sorry to hear about your experience this weekend. I was in a playgroup for years and heard the exact same things. I finally wised up and made some new friends that don't bash their husbands. When I get together with my old friends I'm always shocked at what I listened to for all those years!

Mary said...

I'm glad you brought this up, it's so common among women everywhere...they seem to think they're "commiserating" with one another and it's so sad. The other sad thing about it is, if you don't join in, and agree that for instance "all men are babies when they're sick" then you're treated as if you're unsympathetic, or self-righteous.

I know I read some of this husband bashing at a blog last year, a blog that was predominantly Christian and a ministry to other women...the things she shared were WAY TMI! I mean private stuff. I never went back to her blog.

I think letting these topics go on (and by contributing to them, we're in essence cheering on the whole topic just as you observed at the conference) is probably helping destroy marriages everywhere by feeding that discontent.

Great Post!

Bethanie said...

It was something that really bothered me. Thanks for your comments.

Terri said...

Hi, Bethanie-

I recently had a similar experience during our ladies' fellowship group meeting. One of the ladies started complaining about her husband and then others started. I did speak up against it - although I was very, very nervous. I'm not a confrontational kind of person but this conversation was getting off-track badly. It's a shame that we women, even us Christian women, feel the need to talk badly about our husbands.

Bethanie said...

I guess its apart of the curse. We want to hold ourselves up by putting others down. Its easy to do it about your husband because you know he'll still love you. But, we should try never to do it. Even if he'll still love me, it will cause him to have resentment towards me because of my disrespect.

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