Yestarday

Yesterday I noticed some news on my computer before I left work. But, at that time they were still only reporting about the first shooting. It so unfortunate that it happened, but especially because it happened to young people. They were coming to the end of the semester, so excited about life.

I could say that this would never happen if our society didn't put so much infuses on higher education. If parents would keep their children close to home. But, the fact is thats reality. Kids go to college and they are unprotected. Theres not much point in ranting about it. So, we just keep seeing things like this.

I was a junior in High school when the shootings at Columbine happened. I had never felt unsafe at school before, beyond being made fun of or something like that. I had never feared for my life. On one hand, I could say with pride that I wasn't afraid to die. I knew where I was going. However, I didn't really want to be shot or blown up either. After Columbine there were copy cat situations all over the country. Even at our little school. There was a list of targets produced to the authorities at our school. The boy was identified by his hand writing thanks to one of the English teachers. Because the police couldn't locate him, we arrived that morning to a school preparing for war. Every morning I drove myself and my brother to school (he was a freshman at that time). As we were trying to enter the building the side door was blocked by our principle. He simply instructed us that we had to enter at the front. I thought this strange, but we did as we were told. When we went in, I joined my friends and my brother joined his. There was all kinds of speculation about what was going on. My first hour class, the teacher started off by saying, "They don't want us to tell you whats going on, but I think you have a right to know". She told us that a boy was threatening to shoot certain people. She said that we were locked in, so that nobody could get in unless they had permission. Personally, I think the idea of locking people out is fine, but the idea of not being allowed to run out if you need to doesn't appeal to me. Anyway, after my first class I called my mom to let her know what was happening. She told me it was up to us if we wanted to stay. I pulled my brother out of class to discuss it, and we decided we would stay and deal with whatever happened. It was very intense. Everyone was on pins and needles. In each class I was thinking about how I would get out, instead of my work. Being in the library for study hall was especially hard, because thats where most of the shooting at Columbine took place. The end of the day finally came and nothing happened. But, I think that all of the kids were changed. I know I was. Whenever I'm out in public I'm always aware of whos around me. I'm especially cautious about government buildings like the post office, banks, etc. At work (church) I'm aware of everyone that comes in. I don't have a direct view of the door, but I know the regular members by the sound of their steps, whistle, or breathing. If someone is coming my way that I don't recognize then I met them in the hall. I'm not saying that I live in fear. But, I live prepared. You can't ignore the state of our world.