By the world's standards I married young. I was 19. I can't tell you how glad I am that I married. I've been thinking alot about it while praying on Anna's dilemma. I don't believe marriage is for everyone. In blogland it seems that every woman gets married and has children. Well, I'm proof that it doesn't always work out that way. Paul says that it is better to remain single so that you can devote your whole time to God. However, I believe that I was meant to marry. I love my husband so much. We've been through so many difficult things together. Anna asked me: "What if you had to wait to marry, would you have".... It made me think about what if I hadn't. I'm pretty sure it would've went like this:
I would've finished my 2 years at community college. Went on to an university and put in 2 more years, maybe 4. Right about the time I was finished with school and trying to put my education to use with a career I would've found out about my infertility- and dealt with it alone. Most likely I would've decided to remain single, not even giving a guy a chance. What kind of man wants to marry a barren woman? About the same time my Grandmother's health would begin to fail. But, I would be throwing myself into my career in order to mask the pain of infertility, so I wouldn't have had time to help my parents by taking my Grandma to doctor's visits and then eventually taking my turn checking on her in the various nursing homes that she lived in. In the mean time I would also be deeper in debt, beyond my wildest nightmares. I'm terrible with money and I know I would've had more credit cards than I know what to do with. I would be unhealthy, never caring to learn to cook. Living off of frozen dinners and take-out. Never realizing my true calling as a woman. Then my Grandma will die. I'm devastated, but the only one that cares are my gold fish, my land lord doesn't allow me a real pet. I don't have time to take off for the funeral because work is keeping me so busy. I regret it forever. Finally, I'm granted some vacation time. I travel home for a week, and I run into an old boyfriend from high school. But, he is already married to a wonderful woman because he always did have great taste in girls. So, I go back to my lonely life. I never marry, and give my life to working. I die of a stress related cause and I was alone. Alone! Alone! Alone!
I'm not saying that if a woman remains single that this is how she'll end up. But, I know this is what my life would've looked like had I not married my husband. I was already headed in that direction on my own. I think that is a reason I married my husband, because he was headed in a direction that I wanted to follow. I already knew deep down where God wanted me and I don't want to imagine living life without him.