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Thursday, June 07, 2007

Marrying Young

By the world's standards I married young. I was 19. I can't tell you how glad I am that I married. I've been thinking alot about it while praying on Anna's dilemma. I don't believe marriage is for everyone. In blogland it seems that every woman gets married and has children. Well, I'm proof that it doesn't always work out that way. Paul says that it is better to remain single so that you can devote your whole time to God. However, I believe that I was meant to marry. I love my husband so much. We've been through so many difficult things together. Anna asked me: "What if you had to wait to marry, would you have".... It made me think about what if I hadn't. I'm pretty sure it would've went like this:

I would've finished my 2 years at community college. Went on to an university and put in 2 more years, maybe 4. Right about the time I was finished with school and trying to put my education to use with a career I would've found out about my infertility- and dealt with it alone. Most likely I would've decided to remain single, not even giving a guy a chance. What kind of man wants to marry a barren woman? About the same time my Grandmother's health would begin to fail. But, I would be throwing myself into my career in order to mask the pain of infertility, so I wouldn't have had time to help my parents by taking my Grandma to doctor's visits and then eventually taking my turn checking on her in the various nursing homes that she lived in. In the mean time I would also be deeper in debt, beyond my wildest nightmares. I'm terrible with money and I know I would've had more credit cards than I know what to do with. I would be unhealthy, never caring to learn to cook. Living off of frozen dinners and take-out. Never realizing my true calling as a woman. Then my Grandma will die. I'm devastated, but the only one that cares are my gold fish, my land lord doesn't allow me a real pet. I don't have time to take off for the funeral because work is keeping me so busy. I regret it forever. Finally, I'm granted some vacation time. I travel home for a week, and I run into an old boyfriend from high school. But, he is already married to a wonderful woman because he always did have great taste in girls. So, I go back to my lonely life. I never marry, and give my life to working. I die of a stress related cause and I was alone. Alone! Alone! Alone!

I'm not saying that if a woman remains single that this is how she'll end up. But, I know this is what my life would've looked like had I not married my husband. I was already headed in that direction on my own. I think that is a reason I married my husband, because he was headed in a direction that I wanted to follow. I already knew deep down where God wanted me and I don't want to imagine living life without him.


Rhonda said...

Marrying young can be either bad or good, depending on our determining God's will for our lives. Being single can be the best thing for us if it is indeed God's will. Being without children can be the best thing if that is God's will.
Actively seeking then resting in God's will is the only way to go!

Anna S said...


Thank you so for for thinking about me and sharing your thoughts on this subject. Thankfully, I'm so blessed, and I know I'm safe in God's hands. When I was around the age when you married, though - or a bit earlier - I used to be a bit like you described too. Irresponsible, worldly, without true meaning in my life. Horrible with money. Zero knowledge in homemaking. Alone or not, I will never go back to that path!! Praise God!

Finding a man who is heading in the same direction you would like to see your life turn to is not easy, yet it is essential, since our husbands become our leaders. I think in this sense, I have found what I was looking for. He is wonderful. Responsible. Reliable. Godly. Wants to provide for his family so that his wife can be a homemaker! Everything I've ever wanted.

I'm still praying.

Mrs. Brigham said...

I can relate quite a bit to the thoughts you express on this post. I, too, was married young by the world's standards and am reasonably sure that my life would not be anything near as happy as it right now had I not been married when I was. It's funny for me to think about because I was most certainly not loking for marriage when I met my husband. God obviously had drastically different plans for me than I had for myself.

Thank you sharing this thought-provoking post. It has really stirred some important points in my mind.

Bethanie said...

Rhonda-well said.
Anna- So am I, still praying.
Mrs. Brigham- thanks for your comment.

TAS said...

Bethanie - what a good post! I married at 20, and tell my husband over and over again how blessed I am that we married young. I have sooooo many thoughts on that, and why it has been a blessing in my life, but this is your blog and I don't want to hog it!! =) But, you gave me something to chew over and maybe I'll write about it some day. -Tiffany

Bethanie said...

tas-I would love to read what you have to say on the subject. If you want to do a post about it, then I'll link to it on my blog.

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