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Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Questions from Anna

Questions posted by Anna:
Ladies, those of you who are married, how long was your engagement? Did any of you have to delay your marriage for an extended period because of some reason? How did you deal with the insecurity, frustration, the feeling your life isn't really going anywhere?Those of you who waited, what was the hardest part for you, and today, are you glad you waited?I understand this is a personal question to ask, but I need strength and I feel I could be very much encouraged by a testimony of someone who had been through this.

Our engagement lasted for exactly 1 year, 1 month, and 1 week. I suppose this might not be considered an "extended period", however it was one of the most difficult times in my life and in our relationship. I didn't enjoy being engaged. We dated for two years and had never had an arguement or disagreement until we got engaged. Mostly we fought over what was going to happen after we got married and weither or not we really wanted to get married. It would go back and forth. One day I would back out, another he would. Marriage was definatly something we didn't take lightly. Our families didn't help either. My mom was driving me crazy, she was the "mother-of-the-bridezilla". The first and last thing I got to make a decsion on concering the wedding were the colors, and even they didn't end up being the hues that I wanted. His mom was pushing and pulling him in all different directions. One week she would insist on us living with her after we got married (I flat out refused that). Another she wanted us to rent, another she wanted us to move her and live in her house. Anyway, so many times we nearly called it off for good. Then finally the day came. BING BANG BOOM and it was over in just a few hours. All that craziness and everything for just a few hours of music, pictures, and food. I honestly don't remember most of it.
The most important thing is the rest of your life, not that one day. Am I glad that we waited a year? Well, I suppose there was no real damage done. However, we would both tell you that if we had it to do over again we would elope.

2 comments:

Anna S said...

Bethanie,

Thank you for answering my question and sharing your story!

What if you had no chance to get married earlier? If you had to wait for a very long time before it would be actually possible to get married? Would you have waited? (Sorry if this is too personal)

Bethanie said...

No not personal at all.
Well, knowing what I know now- even if I would've had to wait 2 years, 5 years, 20 years, I would. Would I have waited then- I'm almost certian the answer is no. I was 19 and very silly. Anna, your a muture young woman who has lived some life already. You just have to decide if you want to commit yourself to the man or not. Nothing is easy in a relationship, weither its waiting to marry or waiting for him to figure out that the trash is overflowing.
I think a good question to ask yourself is, Is he (the guy) headed in the same direction that you know God wants you going?
I'll being praying for you.

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