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Friday, November 17, 2006

Leaning on the Lord

This week we've had to do some serious leaning on the Lord. Monday my brother-in-Law (Hubby's brother) was taken to prison for a year. I don't care to discuss the charges, lets just say the punishment fits the crime. It was very hard on Hubby. BIL has been in trouble before, but this is his first time in prison. He isn't allowed to have contact with anyone for 30 days. How lonely he must be. Also its especially hard on his daughter. She is very vulnruble right now. On the bright side, BIL was told he would need to take classes during his stay that may help him get out a little earlier. One of his classes is a religion class. I'm hopeing that this will be a good thing to come of it-that he might find peace in God. BIL is a very weary man. If he could let God in-I know it would change his life. Long nights and lonely hours, God will be there.
My Grandma (the one in the nursing home) hasn't been doing very well at all. She's been eating less and less. My Dad took her to the doctor yestarday, and the infection from her hands is gone. Thats good, but she still seems to be slipping farther away. Sometimes, when I'm alone and I think of her-the way she was-I just can't hardly stand it. She's been fadeing little by little for over 3 years now. Its like mourning her long term.
And finally I have to tell about what a wretch I am. Yestarday morning, when I recieved my check for work I immediatly began to covit something. At the store the other day, I noticed a skirt that I wanted. It was a long skirt. I kept thinking of it yestarday, and God kept warning me. I would reason, "But its a long modest skirt and I need to be modest." But God kept warning me. I picked Hubby up yestarday afternoon and we went to cash his check. While we were standing in line I could here the clothes section calling me. I asked very sweetly if I could go look around. He said I could. I went right to the skirt and admired it. I held it up to me, even with my short torso it hit my ankles just right. Hubby walked over and I declared that I would like to try it on. He followed me to the dressing rooms. It fit perfectly! I was very pleased, all the while WARNING! I told him I liked it and marched up to the check out before he had a chance to say anything. I paid for with "my" money and we headed home. That evening he was dividing up the money for the bills. I could tell he was discusted because he kept slamming his pen down. Apparently after the tithe and bills, we only had $50 dollars left over for food and gas. I became very uptight. Knowing that I had done wrong, I just got angry. Which, in our household, is just more wrong. I started questioning Hubby's figures and trying to weasel around what was obvious. I tormented us both all evening. This morning, it hit me. It was certainly all my falt. I had been stingy with the money, that was not mine anyway. I had been will full with my insistance that I have the skirt. Not only should have given the money to Hubby to begin with, but I should've asked before even trying on the skirt. The worst part was it was premeditated. I concluded that I must repent to God and Hubby and the skirt had to go back. A few minutes later, Hubby came to me all lit up. He explained that He had miscounted his money and we actually had another $100 leftover. I felt so foolish. I told him why we had had the problem, and asked for his forgivness. I told him I would return the skirt today. Then he said, "But, it looks so good on you." Not only did he forgive me, but he insisted I keep the skirt. Wonderful doesn't describe this man! He's awsome!


Anonymous said...

Bethanie, you and your family will be in my prayers. Thank you for sharing, too, about your heart. Your husband is wonderful! (I know that you know that! :D)


Bethanie said...

Thanks Terri!

MInTheGap said...

It never fails that when you think there's a lot going on in your family, there are a whole lot more other things going on in others.

Praise God that He is with us through the trials. I hope that your brother establishes and grows a personal relationship with God during this time away from his family-- but that it will also change him.

It's really hard to lose a loved one-- even when they are older. I lost a grandfather last year, and that was a little easier because of the distance, but I still think about him. It was nice to know that it wasn't sudden, but at the same time it's never easy to lose someone.

I've been trying to follow the Total Money Makeover, and one of the things that hit me is that the author said that couples should not have "secret stashes of money" for gifts, etc. because we should decide how to spend everything in our budget. That made things really strange at Christmas (I'm usually more of a spender on gifts than she is), but it's for the best.

Thanks for these thoughts and a glimpse into how God's working in you! When you train yourself to do God's will, trust that your feelings will warn you when you're going to do something you shouldn't!

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