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Friday, March 30, 2007

Marriage Monday by "fruitinseason"

(Click on the pic. to see the post)
(pic is from the "fruitinseason" blog)
Every Monday (so it seems) "fruitinseaon" has a Marriage Monday post. But, on Friday she asks her readers to come up with a post of their own to go with the topic she is on. You post your story on your blog and then add your link to her blog on Monday. This week she asks us to write about what kind of woman you were when you met and married your husband. Here goes....
I met my husband in school. I had known him for several years, before I became interested in him and then it was another year or so before he got interested in me. I was 16 years old and finishing up my sauphmore year in high school when we started "going out". What kind of woman was I? Well, I was a teenager. I was very niave about everything. I had never had a boyfriend before, never been on a date before, etc. The biggest concern on my mind was wheither or not I would be passing Algebra. I had no concept of what real life was. My goal was having nothing less than a C on my record so I could get into a good college and please my mother.
After 2 years of dating we got engaged. I was a senior in high school and at this point I, as most young adults do, felt like I already had everything all figured out. I was ready to be out of school-and moved on with life. I was anxious, and impatient. I wanted to be independant of my parents and have a life of my own. Do what I want, when I wanted.
We were married a month after my 19th birthday. I think it was when we got home from our honeymoon when I realized that marriage wasn't going to be all about me. But I fought that notion for years. In my parents marriage, my mother is the center of all things. She says what goes. So, naturally I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. But, my husband isn't as...well he isn't my father. 4 years of struggling to get and keep control, got me a very unpleasant living situation. I knew I was the problem...but I honestly didn't understand what else to do. I was a terrible wife. Yelling, Complaining, Demanding, Controlling, Threatening. Because of my stubborness and ignorance, that is what our daily life was like.
After discovering that I was infertile, I was even worse. I was horrible and then some. It was months before I realized that I needed to turn to God for help. The enemy was getting the best of me and my husband was taking the worst. I prayed that God would show me what I was doing wrong and how I could be better. I knew that if something didn't change that my marriage would be over. I sure didn't expect what God showed me. I read the Purpose Driven Life (I'm not necessarily endorsing Rick Warren or his business here) and on the first page it reads, "Its not about YOU". That was it. Once I realized that life wasn't about me I went on to learn that I was created to be his helpmeet, the lies women believe and what I had been taught about feminism, and what the bible teaches about womanhood and marraige. I have to admit that I would come across a truth, and go "Thats nuts". But, I knew that what I had been doing wasn't working. Then when I plugged these things into my daily life with my husband, and it worked- I knew that it was the truth. It was difficult, and still is, but I could see the results and it was good.
I'm not going to say that I've now got it all figured out. It is a choice I have to make every day. To be what I now know God wants me to be. I'm always learning more.
Right this moment I feel free. When my husband first "asked me out" I was a silly little girl. When we got married I was a confused rebel. Now I'm a woman that is free to love her husband the way God intended.


Christine said...

This is a beautiful post. It's so insidious how the world worms its way into our thinking and even our belief systems before we even know what hit us. What a blessing to find and begin following God's plan for your marriage! Now think of all the years ahead of you to grow, create a family together (through whatever means God has planned for you) and love your hubby more and more. I'm blessed by your post and your honesty in what you've learned!

Sharon said...

How sweet. Thanks for sharing your story.
I was 24 when I got married and I would like to think that i was prepared--Ha! I'm still growing. I guess by the time God gets ready to take me home-I might be ready to be a wife. :)

Bethanie said...

Hi Sharon-thanks for your comment.

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